First, let’s cover the basics….
My name is Deana and I’m 33.
I’m a wife.
And, a stay-at-home mom of three kids at various stages of life; 2, 9 and 14.
When my husband first suggested I start a blog, I fell asleep writing my intro to the world in my head. It sounded great last night, but as I sit here at the computer screen now, I’ve been so focused on trying to figure out what to name my blog I’ve forgotten everything I planned to say. Which sounds a lot like my life…lots of plans, not a lot of action…
So, I covered the basics, but let’s expand. If I’m gonna blog, I know two things for sure: 1. God is the foundation for everything I write and 2. I want to be transparent, no writing what I think you wanna read, just writing what I feel, what I think and being real about it.
There are plenty of blogs out there by stay-at-home moms and Christian women, I don’t wanna be them and I’m not trying to be better than them, I just wanna write as me, an imperfect masterpiece trying to find my way in the plan God has laid out for me. I’m not a “seasoned” Christian, there are many things I don’t know yet. God is not new to me, but discovering my own faith is. I don’t use big Christian words, I can’t quote the Bible and I’m still afraid to pray out loud. But, I do love Jesus and I’m doing my best to live for Him. I haven’t always been who God intended me to be, in fact, I’ve strayed far from that path, but I’ve gotten back in the race and I’m running towards Him every day. I’m thirsty, I’m restless and I’ve got a lot to say. So come with me as I talk about struggles, joys, God and just seeing the world through my eyes. I’m not here just to blog about the things you wanna talk about, I also wanna blog the things we’re scared to talk about, I’m a Work in Progress and I’d love to take you on this journey with me.
being confident in this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ – Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)
If you’re still here, how about I give you a real introduction? I’ve recently started a Bible Study called Restless by Jennie Allen and it’s made me ask myself the question, “Who am I?” For just a few words, that’s a big question. But, since I’m starting this blog, I figure, why not answer it here?
So, I’m Deana and I’m 33. Sometimes I say I’m 33 years old young, but to be honest, more often I feel like 33 is really old. I’m learning to accept that being 33 doesn’t mean I need to have a house, a career and all the things the world tells us we should have. It’s not always easy, especially when I look around and see other people my age who seem like they have it all. As a Christian I know it’s wrong to be “jealous” of others, but the whole “the grass is always greener on the other side” doesn’t just go away because you accepted God as your Savior. In fact, sometimes I think it makes not comparing yourself to others even harder. That devil, he’s always working against us. What I know and what I need to focus on is that I belong to God and all those worldly things I could have here don’t matter because God has a plan for me and that plan ends with me living forever in my Home with Him. So yeah, maybe I don’t have all the things the world says I should have by now, but I’m pretty proud of what I’ve got.
One of those things is my marriage. I married my husband, a United States Army Veteran on July 7th, 2013. We don’t have one of those, tell your grandkids about, fairy tale, how I met your mother kind of stories, but, how I met him, was unique and imperfect yet perfectly planned out by God. But, that’s another story, for another day, in another blog post. I will tell you that my marriage has been far from perfect, we’ve made mistakes (me more than him) and we’ve had our share (often what seems like more than our share) of struggles, but, we have survived, because we love each other and more than that, we love God. I’ve gone through those times when I’ve questioned my marriage, when I’ve thought, “we fight way too much, there’s no way this is how a marriage is supposed to be.” I’m learning to accept that marriage isn’t ever going to be perfect and it isn’t going to be easy, but that as long as God is the foundation of your marriage, it can be “imperfectly perfect.”
About a week ago, I broke down, that whole, I’m 33 and old, and I’ve accomplished nothing. Then I looked at my kids sleeping and realized I’ve accomplished a lot. Only problem was in that state of mind, I felt like what I’d accomplished was a lot of failure as a parent. But, like other things in my life, I’m learning to accept that I’m not the only parent who feels like they’ve failed. And, I haven’t failed, sure, my kids and I have our struggles, but at the end of the day I’m raising three amazing kids who all love God.
So, am I more than a sometimes old, sometimes young, mom of three, flawed wife and imperfect masterpiece. I’m so much more. I haven’t even began to answer the question, “Who am I?” yet, but, I have wrote my first blog post, and that’s something else I can add to my “What I’m Proud Of” list. Thanks for taking the time to take a small glimpse into my life, I hope you’ll stick around and join me on my journey to masterpiece as I figure of what God has planned for me.