When I started this blog I wanted to find a way to share personal stories and ways for you to get to know me on a regular basis. When I was visiting [[lifeinthefrontseat.com]] I came across Whisper Wednesday, her version of what I wanted to do, so here it is, Fearless Fridays, a personal look into that question I’m still answering for myself, Who Am I??

Laying in bed one night, I decided I’d start a Bucket List. Something I’d done many times before, but normally they ended up as forgotten memos in my cell phone I’d never finished. So, I decided that night I’d post my list for the world to see, that way I’d have to finish it. So for my first Fearless Friday, a full Bucket List of 35 dreams I want to pursue. Keep reading and you’ll find out how 35 became my magic number.


1. Learn to Sing
If I could think of one thing I’ve wanted to so since I was a kid that’s never changed, this would be it. I don’t want to sing professionally or anything, but I love to sing and it would be amazing to have the voice to go with that desire to sing. I’d especially love to be able to lead worship and I’ve often prayed to ask God for this gift. I remember once when I was in high school, I was at church with my mom. For the final hymn the entire congregation holds hands and sings. I’m singing and asking God to make me a better singer and thinking of how good it would feel to have a nice voice. You know what happened after the song ended? The lady to my left squeezed my hand and told me I had a nice voice. Those words brought me happiness for many days afterward. I wish I had known then what I know. God answered my prayer that day and had I been then who I am now, I would have realized this was Him telling me, “I hear you and its OK to dream.” He was showing me that my dream could be a part of my story. So, here I am, all these years later still remembering that moment and ready to follow that dream.

2. Move Somewhere Close to My Best Friend
Yes, I’m aware this affects more than just me and it may come across as a selfish reason to relocate, so let me explain. I live in Oregon. She lives in Canada. And not just up through Washington and across the border, more like across the country then across the border, three times zones and $1000 away. I don’t have a lot of friends here and I find it hard to make new ones. This girl has been my best friend since middle school (when I moved here) and it’s one of those, “I know your secrets and I’d never judge you, don;t talk for months and pick up right where you left off, talk for hours about nothing and everything, never turn you back on, I can rely on you, friends forever, no matter what friendships.” I know I can’t base my entire decision of where I’d like my family to live based on this, but I don’t think I’m wrong to make it a factor.

3. Go on a missions trip with my entire family.

4. Grow a garden.
Yes, this would be a big deal. I could I kill a cactus, that’s how green my thumb is.

5. Write a book and get it published.

6. Lead a Bible Study.
And Anne, if you’re reading this, I’m not ready yet πŸ˜‰

7. Grow my hair out.
This may not seem Bucket List worthy, but let me tell you what always happens when I try to do this. I start to grow mu hair out, it gets past my shoulders and I get haircut antsy. I can’t stand when my hair gets in my face, especially when I’m eating. And, I have the kind of hair that gets kinky after two minutes in a hair tie… Eventually I get tired of finding bobby pins all over mt carpet from my failed attempts to in my hair back (my hair is really thick) and I go to a few weeks of daily ponytails. That inevitably leads to not brushing after a shower since I know I’m just gonna put it up anyways, followed by less frequent washes all leading up to my husband asking me if I’m ever going to fix my hair again. So I do, but then it’s in my face again and a trip to the hair salon to go back to my trusted bob is soon to follow. I’m to that point right now, I’m out of bobby pins and I can feel my husband looking at my messy ponytail with disgust. Maybe knowing I put this one here will keep those scissors away.

8. Ride a train somewhere far away.

9. Go to Nashville and see a show at the Grand Ole Opry.
If you knew me, you’d know embracing my love for country music has a story behind it. You’ll see it in a Fearless Friday post to come.

10. Build something with my own two hands.

11. Learn to sew.
I was really into Pinterest a couple of years ago and asked for a sewing machine for Christmas. This was Christmas 2012. Other than the one time I took it out and realized I couldn’t thread it, it’s just been sitting in my closet. I’m gonna sign up for a class at Michael’s and I’m going to learn this year.

12. Go shooting with my husband and actually hit the target.
He took me shooting once. I went through an entire magazine, laying on my stomach with the gun practically aimed for mean and not only did I not hit the target, every shot missed the paper completely. Β My husband still makes fun of me.

13. Learn to do my make up.
I’ve always wanted to learn to do my make up so it looks professionally done. Thanks to Pinterest and YouTube I’m slowly getting there.

14. Raise my children into happy, successful adults who love God.

15. Go to a country concert.

16. Go to New York and eat a hot dog.

17. Go to Philly and eat a cheese steak.

16. Go on a vacation dubbed the “The US Signature Food Tour” and travel across America tasting the foods the place we are visiting is known for.
What? I love food. Diets are not my friend. And hey, maybe it is a completely gluttonous reason for a vacation, but it would also be a fin education trip for the kiddos. Hmmm, 50 state road trip with 3 kids, forget another post, I’d need a whole new blog. And a set of noise cancelling headphones.

17. Write a Bucket List of 35 things?!
Told ya you’d find out what’s so special about 35. When this idea came to me I figured I’d just start writing and see how many dreams I ended up with, but I couldn’t get the number 35 out of my head (and I don’t like the number 35, it’s associated with a bad memory for me). So I’m like, “OK God, that’s the number then, 35 dreams I’m ready to start pursuing.”

18. Adopt a child or become a foster parent.
Ever since I was old enough to know what the word adopt meant I wanted to adopt a child. In fact, the plan was to have 3 of my own then adopt one. If it never works out that we are in the position to adopt, after my kids are grown and on their own I’d love to be a foster parent.

19. Buy a house.
One day, I’ll blog about the adventures of living in a 950 square foot 3 bedroom apartment with my husband and 3 kids.

20. Start a non-profit.
My life plan used to be to become an attorney and when I was making good money buy a house and turn it into a non-profit home for troubled youth. I don’t know if I’ll ever make that happen, but I still want to start some sort of charity one day.

21. Sing Amazing Grace at my grandma’s funeral.
Please God, no time soon, but ever since she told me she wanted to have Amazing Grace played at her funeral I’d hoped when that day came I had a voice good enough to sing it.

22. Die before my kids.
OK, after this I’ll try to stop being so morbid, but I don’t ever want to experience the feeling of outliving any of my children.

23. Pray out loud in a group and not be embarrassed.
I’ve prayed out loud in a group one time and I was so embarrassed. I felt like a little kid who hadn’t learned very many words yet. The ladies were supportive and I love them all, but the whole praying out loud thing is really hard for me,

24. Renew my vows in Ohio so my family can be a part of it.
Most of my family lives in Ohio and since I got married in Oregon very few of them got to attend. My family is very important to me so it’s something I’d like to experience with them even if it’s not the first time.

25. Never put my parents in a nursing home.

26. Learn to Play the Guitar
I’ve been trying hard to learn using YouTube and internet articles. My problem is my fingers feel way too short to play the different chords. Maybe I should get a kids sized guitar.

27. Sew my kids Halloween costumes.
First number eleven, then number twenty-seven, seems easy enough. If only I was Martha Stewart.

28. Learn to take good photographs.

29. Help change the world’s view of PTSD and other mental disorders.

30. Start a blog.
OK, so this is cheating since I already did it, but it has been part of my lists in the past.

31. Write a children’s book that my husband illustrates.

32. See my oldest son, C, graduate college.
Of’course, I want to see all my kids graduate from college, but with C it’s an especially big deal.

33. Watch my daughter, J, audition for The Voice.

34. Conquer my fear of birds.
One day I’ll share the story of this phobia with you, but I’m more scared of birds than anything ever.

35. Go to law school. Become a lawyer. Work as a lawyer.
I was going to explain why I crossed the first two out, but it’s actually a huge glimpse into my life that deserves its own post so, I’ll leave it as I need to do more than graduate law school, I need to get a job and actually practice law.

Time to start pursuing my dreams and see where God leads me.