I recently read an opinion piece in The New York Times titled, “What Black Moms Know” and quite honestly I was appalled by the judgment and complete lack of respect for moms by the author who is a mom herself. This is my response to Ylonda Gault Caviness.
Please read this article before you read my response: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/05/03/opinion/sunday/what-black-moms-know.html
Did you really just bring up mommy wars in an article where you managed to single-handedly judge not only every white mom in America, but every black mom too? You say you “feel sorry for the others? You know those mothers.” Well, I’m a stay-at-home, white mommy blogger who does everything she can to ensure her children’s success and happiness. If that makes you feel sorry for me, please don’t. In fact, I feel sorry for you. The person who just generalized black and white moms based on what she thinks she knows.
Yes, I’m a white mom. But, unlike the generalizations you made about us, I’m not panicking all day every day about how to raise my children. I’m not worried about pesticides or if my child’s birthday theme is going to be good enough. I don’t feel compelled to measure the amount of praise I give my kids or to make sure I read every new parenting book available. I don’t need an expert to teach me how to make my kids happy. I know my kids are happy because they having a loving family who is always there for them.
Most importantly, I don’t judge other moms. I know that all parents, no matter what color their skin is, aren’t perfect parents. I also know that that’s o.k., we aren’t meant to be. There is only one perfect parent, and it’s certainly not you or me. I believe that every parent, so long as they aren’t abusive, has the right to raise their children in whatever way works best for them and that they should be able to do so without the fear of being judged by other parents.
Thankfully, I’m an imperfect mom. Like many of my fellow imperfect moms, I don’t have time for all this judgment and scorn. My charge, like yours, is to raise my children in a way that best prepares them for the world, and while I’m no expert, I’m quite sure that’s what every parent in the world is called to do.
So, this is for the moms; the white moms and the black moms, the Asian moms and the Hispanic moms and every mom across the world no matter what their nationality. This is for the moms who work and the moms who stay at home, for the single moms and the married moms and all the moms in between. This is for the moms who have felt judged or generalized by other moms. This is for the moms that know they don’t have all the answers. Remember, other moms don’t have all the answers either, so I think it’s time we all cut each other a little slack.